December 30, 2002: Celebrity Blog Commenting
I was thinking about Gawker, the online blog magazine that Jason Kottke, Elizabeth Spiers, and Nick Denton founded earlier this month, and wondering if there are other ways bloggers could make some cash for themselves. I believe that I have struck on a genuinely original idea that is so ridiculous that it just might work. I call it Celebrity Blog Commenting. Most bloggers out there in the universe throw a site online and then wait in vain for people to come along and read whatever claptrap they have chosen to spray all over their page. It is pathetic. They are pathetic. And worse yet, everyone in the known blogging universe knows they are pathetic, because every post on their site ends with those deadly words: "Comments [0]". Well, I believe I have found a way to solve this embarrassing problem and make a little money for some of you bloggers out there with time on your hands: comments for hire.
Let's say John Doe out there in the blogosphere wants to spend an hour or two composing a post about the best friend from 6th grade he lost touch with and has not heard from in ten years. He waits in vain for someone to comment on his heartfelt outpouring, and then he comes to us. We have a scalable rate card- let's say $5 for a comment by an unknown blogger like me, or $25 for a blogging celebrity like Jason Kottke or Anil Dash (are you seriously trying to tell me that Jason Kottke would turn down twenty-five American dollars to write two paragraphs? Think again!) After a simple Paypal transaction, the comment is delivered on the site within a few hours. Presto- instant popularity for only a few dollars per week. You want to write thirty or forty paragraphs on your site about some unpopular 1980s band? No problem- we'll read every word and post a comment or two about the Smiths. You have some insane diatribe you want to post about Israel, or Libya, or Myanmar? We'll have Anil Dash there five minutes later with his own strange perspective on your issues.
Sure- the service would have to be discrete. You wouldn't want it getting out that you had, um, paid for this kind of thing. And perhaps Andrew Sullivan wouldn't want it known that he was prostituting his comments for $25 a pop. But mark my words- if someone isn't working on this already, it's something that you will see in the next six months.
Comments
I'm all for the idea. The hard part is faking my way through two whole paragraphs.
The good news is, the paypal link is on the little toolbar on my site. Easy!
I am here because Anil is a slave to his referer logs.
That will be $25, please.
It's like that old expression- speak of the devil and he appears.
Thanks for stealing my idea.
I want my two dollars!
I guess pay-for-blog-comment might have its place if its commentators have some sort of blog-world cachet. But I feel only Mickey Kaus or Andrew Sullivan are legitimate Celebrity Blog Commentators as they've got journalistic cred. Unless you've got blog commentators going on the Today show or even Fox News to air opinions, you've still got a ways to go before being a Celebrity. Unless you hook up with an E! or Fox producer. Hmmm....
It would actually be cool to get actual celebrities to post - the way Aaron Sorkin did on a West Wing bulletin board, having a hissyfit under the handle "Benjamin." I imagine Tom Fontana, with his own website www.tomfontana.com, wouldn't be averse to a few words...this will be a new area for publicists and managers - fielding offers to post to weblogs.
this sounds like some 2003 internet-remix of one of the countless 80's movies where the dork pays the cool girl to go out with him and then when everyone sees he's cool he doesn't need the girl he's paying anymore but then the girl is like "wait now i understand your inner beauty and i want to fuck you for free" and he's all like "get off my bozack and let a player play." The only difference here is you're _all_ dorks.
I guess I was skirting around the issue, so kudos to you Josh. I was afraid of saying something about "all you Hobbit freaks would love more reason to be on the computer" for fear of being tarred and feathered at the airport.
Yeah- it's true- sometimes the whole blogging thing does seem like something a nerd might have wished for in 1987 if he got ahold of a magic lamp.
What a wonderful idea! You're so creative I would pay you to come comment on my blog! No, really! I would! (I would pay more for Anil or Kottke though...)
Brilliant. If it's not happening already, this idea will evolve into reality. Celebrities themselves would hire someone to fill up their blog comments. Ghost-written comments!
I google celebrity bloggers and this is the best it comes up with?
*sigh*
You say this as I'm adding the options of comments for free.